Grindhouse - Planet Terror

Who:  Amber & Jonathan
What:  Grindhouse - Planet Terror
Where:  @ home - free HBO weekend
Why:  I've been dying to see it!

Let's just say, I can see why Grindhouse didn't make any money at the box office.  This sucker is long!  I only watched the first movie, and I was tired.  I don't think I could've handled seeing both movies at the same time.

Planet Terror is the movie with the girl with the machine gun for a leg.  I know you know what I'm talking about!

It was actually a pretty cool movie.  There is a crazy radiation leak, and it turns pretty much everybody into a zombie.  There are a handful of people who are immune (for some reason), and they go around killing zombies.  The zombies can be killed (I think), if you blow them away with a powerful gun.  Luckily everybody seems to have an incredibly powerful gun.

When I say killing zombies, I mean blowing them apart.  I think I saw more blood in this movie than at a blood bank.  Who knew a gunshot to the chest made you explode?

Did I mention there was a chick with a machine gun for a leg?

Grindhouse was supposed to be a throw back to stupid 70's horror movies.  So sometimes the screen is kind-of fuzzy, you see film real lines, and during a sex scene (w/ machine gun leg chick), the 'film reel' actually melts.

This movie ends, I think, at Tulum in Mexico.  It's where Jonathan and I visited during our last Disney Cruise.  If it's not Tulum, it looks just like it.

If you have FOREVER to kill, then check out Grindhouse.  If you only have 1.5 hours to kill, then check out Planet Terror.  It's worth it just to see what happens to Quinten Terrintino's wang.  Ouch!  Seriously ...

Bee Movie

Who: Bill & Melanie
What: Bee Movie
Where: Pay-Per-View
Why:Just wanted to see it.

There was plenty of “buzz” (sorry!) surrounding the computer animated Bee Movie, released in 2007 by DreamWorks Animation. Much of the attention was due to it being Jerry Seinfeld’s first major film project since Seinfeld ended in 1998. Was the over-hype worth it? Probably not.

However, Bee Movie is a cute, entertaining story about Barry B. Benson. When he temporarily leaves the hive to explore the human world, he encounters a series of near fatal accidents. However, Barry is bee-friended (ha!) by a human female named Vanessa Bloom, who owns a flower shop. While on a visit with Vanessa to a supermarket, Barry is horrified to learn that humans have been stealing and eating the bee’s honey for centuries. So what does Barry intend to do? Sue the humans, of course. You could say he becomes a “sue bee” (yes, another bad pun!). As for what happens next, you’ll just have to see. But I’ll take some of the sting away (boo!) and let you know that there is ultimately a happy ending for the bees AND the humans.

An all-star cast joins Seinfeld. Just some of the familiar voices heard are Renee Zellweger (Vanessa), Matthew Broderick (Barry’s best friend Adam), Chris Rock (Mooseblood the Mosquito), John Goodman (attorney L.T. Montgomery), Oprah Winfrey (Judge Bumbleden), Michael Richards (Bud Ditchwater), Patrick Warburton (Ken) and as themselves: Sting (yes, really), Ray Liotta, and Larry King as a bee version of himself.

Bee Movie is fun, though not necessarily full of outright laughs. The story is decent and the vocal talent is impressive. All in all, I’d say it fully lives up to its name as a Grade B---maybe a B- movie. Do as I did, and watch Bee Movie with your own honey.

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Who: Bill
What: Plan 9 from Outer Space
Where: Turner Classic Movies
Why: One of the worst movies ever made

This is one of those films most everyone has heard about, but not necessarily seen. When it was recently shown on Turner Classic Movies, it gave me the opportunity to judge its dubious merits. There have been countless bad movies that have been made since Ed Wood's "Plan 9 from Outer Space" came out in 1959, and this certainly ranks among them: bad acting, bad writing, bad editing, and just an overall bad production. And yet, it was wonderful-- as a comedy. All the laughs are unintentional, of course and one marvels at the lively perfomance of Bela Lugosi-- who had been dead for three years at the time of the movie's release. His inclusion came from a few test scenes he had filmed prior to his death. The rest of his role is played by Tom Mason, who was the chiropractor for Ed Wood's wife and bore absolutely no physical resemblence to Lugosi!

All in all this was an entertaining film, if one is to go in not taking it seriously at all. Give yourself a treat and check out this awful movie.